Session 104: Crimeny Goes to Jail

[icastsword]

Jericho and Crimeny are in the back room of this gallery. The paintings Crimeny wants to see are not here now. They will not be on site until the gallery opening.

There are some paintings on display, but there are a lot of crated paintings, too. Crimeny is tempted to steal, but they don't want the security to be any more beefy than it is when we come back later Restraint.exe and Foresight.exe are both running. They tuck their painting into a crate with a bunch of other paintings. They roll a dirty 20 to Sleight of Hand their art in.

Now only Crimeny rolls Perception because Inky is cooking IRL. They roll a 21. They hear that the discussion has ended between the gallery owner and Sir Mistgleam, and they hear heavy footsteps heading their way. Time to make a quick exit. They roll to fuck off. Crimeny rolls a 28, Jericho rolls a 15. Crimeny makes it to the door. Jericho accidentally kicks a crate and trips a little bit, making a noise. They hear the footsteps stop.

"Who's there?"

Jericho is not answering. Ant has to make a quick roll. Wait, no, he doesn't need to roll. Can they just leave without confronting this guy? They can. Ant makes a note. Jericho and Crimeny casually stroll out so the guards aren't suspicious. Ant makes Scott roll Performance. Crimeny rolls a 4 to perform, but Jericho the bard rolls a 29. He covers for Crimeny's horseshit.

Crimeny has a lot going through their mind now - someone intimidating wants Robert Bijoux's paintings, it was not a voice they recognized, this is bad news bears.

Jericho spins Crimeny's hurry off as a huffy, pretentious artist: their painting isn't in the spot they wanted, the lighting is all wrong, you know how it is. You know how artists are.

Meanwhile, Shane and Jerry are having a chat. Watkins is apparently having a kitten at the office, Jerry tells Shane to be thankful he's not at the office, because Watkins is taking out his bullshit temper tantrum on his underlings. Jerry fishes for info - what did we do??? Besides save New Orleans? Shane says that's probably why we're in Ambrosia's good graces, because we saved New Orleans. Shane says he thinks Wankins feels threatened by Jericho and his efficiency.

Jerry corroborates this - that seems to track. He tells Shane that Watkins has been spending a lot of time in the Archives. Shane rolls History to remember the day he murdered the nicest man in the world. He rolls a 16 to remember the gruesome murder he did. There are several offsite archives that Interplay keeps, so Watkins may not be at the one where LaRue died.

Jerry clarifies that Watkins has been going to the Southern Archive, which is where LaRue died.

Shane is just going to let Jerry shoot off. He learns that Watkins has been spending all of his time at the southern archive. Ever since Ambrosia told Watkins to knock off persecuting Jericho, Watkins has been like a man possessed.

How's life at the office besides that, Jerry? Same old, same old. He's got some vacation time coming up, he's thinking about taking the family down to Disney. Does Shane know a good travel guy who can get Jerry a good package? Does Shane know any travel agents? Roll Insight. He rolls dirty 20 Insight. Shane is the kind of guy who hoards business cards. He has the card of a pair of Aarakokra brothers who fly out of New Orleans. They can set Jerry up with a really economical package to get him and his family out to Disney.

Now Shane has a Jerry favor. Just don't call on him while he's on vacation.

Around that time, Crimeny and Jericho come out of the gallery. Jerry returns to his post.

Time to regroup. Jericho wants to know what info Shane got while they were inside.

Side tangent: what have we been doing with this journal LaRue gave to Shane as he died from having his sternum CRUSHED?

A whole lot of nothing because Ryo forgot it existed in real life.

What if we retcon that LaRue's journal is actually a giant dildo that he wrote on in silver sharpie because apparently the only way for Ryo to remember something is to give her a dildo.

Griffin adds 100 new friends to his Insta. He might have to start posting there more, because he's slowly reaching influencer status. Jericho will help him. :)

What are Griffin's posts like? Well, he's Office Thor, so there are pics of him at the office. He also posts from the gym, and shares the restaurant challenges he takes on with Chad. Well since we're roping Chad in, it is now mandatory for Griffin to post positive affirmations, which, I mean…he'd do that anyway, so that's fine.

Now the whole group reconvenes. Jericho tells the crew he and Crimeny overheard someone named Mr Meseeks being a jerk to the curator.

Mr. Mii Sports.

When Nellie hears the name Mistgleam, she rolls Arcana and History. Dirty 20 Arcana, 17 History. Nellie knows the name Mistgleam - Morlen Mistgleam

Very prolific Feywyld high elf wizard. He's started a program with Interplay that Nellie most likely disagrees with. He's working with Interplay to start an exchange program. The point of the exchange program is to give humans with magic potential the opportunity to study in the Feywyld with him. It's been surprisingly successful and produced a number of magical research students. He is very wealthy, he is working with Interplay, and from what Nellie's seen, the people who he says show the greatest potential don't actually seem all that talented. She doesn't really understand how he's gauging who has potential and who doesn't. It almost seems random. The people being selected aren't necessarily well off and they're not necessarily whores. The only thing they have in common is that they're all human from the earthly realm.

They're swiping magical people from the Earthly plane and stealing them for other planes.

Mistgleam has been touting this as a cultural exchange, though they're not actually doing an exchange. It's magic boarding school. Hilary hates this. So does Nellie.

"Did you really just say Mistgleam!?"

Crimeny is unsure. "Y-yes?" Nellie explains that Mistgleam is such an asshole, she fucking hates him. She's never met him. He's elven Elon Musk. Is he going to buy Twitter? Maybe.

She asks Crimeny to remind her what the paintings are again? Probably hidden messages. Let her rephrase the question: What would the douchiest wizard you've ever met possibly want with these paintings? Crimeny doesn't know, but they know who they can ask to find out. Can we go talk to them? Mistgleam's got this whole thing that's like…but basically he's taking a bunch of would-be wizards who can't study wizardry on earth - she stops herself from going on her old man yells at cloud rant. She describes his wizard boarding school. He's trying to be a big mover in the wizardry world because Interplay has fucked it up here.

She's cranky.

Mistgleam is also known to purchase relics that have magical importance. He displays them in his own gallery/museum. He restores them and makes them open to the public.

Is it possible that these paintings are magic, or is there a treasure map to something that's magic? Crimeny says it's possible - they hid a lot of things in their work over the years.

CRIMENY: I need to go to jail.
INKY: Conscience.exe is running!
CRIMENY: …As a visitor.
INKY: Conscience.exe has encountered an error and will now close.

Does Crimeny think they can get on the short list of visiting this guy? We'll see.

Griffin gets Nellie some tea. She's pretty worked up. ;w;

Crimeny has made the decision to go to jail. They know where Robert is. He's just in a normal mundane prison but there are a healthy amount of Interplay agents mixed in amongst the guards because Robert is a magic man.

In order to see Robert Bijoux, we're going to have to appear to the actual Warden, but we're also going to have to get Interplay clearance. We do know Toby, and Shane does have a minotaur favor and a Jerry favor.

Does Shane want to call in one of his favors or does he think he could gaslight somebody real good?

There's an Agent named Sam who works undercover as a guard at the penitentiary who Shane can bully. Shane will accompany Crimeny to the prison. Crimeny busts out their babyfaced lumberjack glamor again.

Griffin will invite Nellie and Serra home for tea, so Nellie can blow off some steam and the wizards, sorcerer, and maybe cleric can have a good old fashioned bitch'n'stitch.

----
We follow Crimeny and Shane to the prison. Crimeny will step back and let Shane take point. Crimeny takes one of their calling cards and writes "ART" on it. Just "ART". They hand it to Shane and ask if he can convince the prison dudes to give this card to Robert. "Call it asking for an autograph." We're going to go talk to our good boy Agent Sam. Sam makes eye contact with Shane. He makes too much eye contact. It's kind of uncomfortable. Oh, not for Shane it's not.

Sam is alone in this guard station. Gaslight, gatekeep, seduce…? Shane starts off attempting small talk, and gets one word answers in reply to his inquiries.

I love this man, he has the charisma of a rock.

Shane has a favor to ask. A quick favor. There is a long convo with this gloomy Garfield-ass motherfucker. Shane rolls Persuasion. 14+9. 23. Ant needs to make a roll to see how much Sam likes Shane. Shane says he'll buy Sam lunch. This bribe grants Shane Advantage, so he rolls a 17+9 = 28. Thankfully he had the Advantage because without that bribe he wouldn't have succeeded. Sam wants to go to a really cool ramen joint. It's called Soupa Saiyan.

When Shane agrees to go to Soupa Saiyan with Sam, he takes Crimeny's card and tells Shane he'll be right back. Shane is left alone with Crimeny for about 10 minutes. Sam comes back. Robert's not usually allowed visitors, but he said he'd see them.

Does Crimeny want Shane to come with them, or would they like to go by themself? Crimeny would prefer to go by themself.

Crimeny is brought to the visiting chamber. The man who emerges from the cells is a 6.5 foot tall, two-person wide, broad, brick shithouse of a man. He's bald with a very round face, deep set eyes, a bulbous nose, and is unshaven with a 5 o'clock shadow. He looks like Kingpin from Into the Spiderverse, just this big fuckin' square dude.

He sits down and looks at Crimeny. He's never seen this lumberjack glamor. He picks up the phone and asks, Who are you? What do you want from me?

CRIMENY: I'm just a big fan of yours! I was hoping I could ask you a few questions about some of your work.

On the card Crimeny is doodling thieves cant:

Heard about the paintings, what the fuck??? What the fuck are you doing?

They roll a quick Perception to locate the cameras. They roll an 18. There are cameras in each corner of the room, angled so that faces can be seen, but there isn't anything directly above them, so if they write something, it wouldn't be seen. If Crimeny writes something, it would be hidden by the divider.

Crimeny doodles some more, calling back to the last job when Robert was arrested. When the group cases a joint, they'll draw symbols indicating the entry, where the getaway is - Crimeny draws their role in that heist and the date Robert was arrested. Robert glances down at Crimeny's doodles. Crimeny rolls a 28 Insight. When Robert realizes that it's Crimeny, his eyes go a little wide, and then he looks relieved, and then concerned.

BIJOUX: You shouldn't've come to see me, kid."
CRIMENY: Why would that be? Are you busy?
BIJOUX: No good can come from associating yourself with a guy like me.

Crimeny rolls Perception: Dirty 20. Robert's one hand is holding the phone. The fingers of his other hand are moving. It probably looks like a nervous tapping, moving energy. He's very deliberately tapping like a morse code. Crimeny rolls Insight: Another Unnatural 20. Robert's fingers are moving quickly. There's definitely nervous energy in this. From what Crimeny remembers, Robert was always very deliberate. This is like him rattling off code. What Crimeny gets out of it is, "Trouble" and "Don't come back."

While Robert does his code, Crimeny is rattling off fanboy bullshit about how they studied at art school, etc. The other thing they note in their doodle is the symbol for "Contact?" Is there anyone outside who Crimeny could get more information from? There is enormous urgency in Robert's hand when he taps out NO. This subtle man loses all subtlety. Then he's more deliberate in his motions, though his hand is shaking now: Crimeny can translate, "Look at paintings."

Crimeny will give a symbol of affirmation and ask "Where paintings?"

Robert tells them, "Safe until the expo."

Crimeny communicates, "Mistgleam: Asshole."
Robert responds: Danger.

Pippinella, from offscreen: I KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT! VINDICATIONNN!!!

Crimeny communicates, "I AM danger."
Robert smiles.

One of the guards comes over and taps his watch.

BIJOUX: Hey, kid, how've you been doing?
CRIMENY: Been doin' okay, got a job to get by, some nice people. Legal.
BIJOUX: Are you happy?

Crimeny takes a moment to ponder this before saying, "Yes."

Bijoux smiles and says, "Good luck with all your artistic endeavors. Go be happy."

When Bijoux is lead away, there is a visible slump in his shoulders, as of a man who has just had to say goodbye to his child for a very long time.

How is Crimeny feeling? Well, there's a murder about to happen. Crimeny was invested before, but now they are very much resolved to figure out what the fuck is going on.

Crimeny returns to Shane. Sam has been telling Shane all about this manga he's been reading. It's not very interesting. It's not compelling at all. This guy doesn't get a chance to nerd out much, so he's talking to Shane very animatedly. Shane is engaged because he can tell Sam is a lonely dude and Shane isn't a terrible bro, he's just a bad person.

The manga is titled, "Reincarnated as a Hot Pot"

Shane wants to know how the hotpot died.

Crimeny walks up and says, "He was hit by a food truck."

Now they're going to take Agent Sam to lunch.

---
It's time for the wizardly stitch'n'bitch. Eva and Empathy are overjoyed to have Pip and Serra over. Griffin has texted ahead to tell them Nellie's having a rough day and needs to blow off steam. There is a huge platter of cucumber sandwiches waiting for them when they get there.

How would Pip like to start complaining? She just dives right in - She asks Empathy if she's been following the news about Mistgleam. Empathy hadn't heard he was on Earth but now that she knows, her sarcasm is palpable.

Nellie explains that we've got to check out these paintings that were done by a magic crime boy. For some reason Mistgleam is interested in them, which says to her that they must either have magical properties or some connection with magical properties.

And he's willing to throw any amount of his sizable fortune to get what he wants. Empathy is soooo glad he's popped up again, she'd been hoping he'd turned himself into a newt, a polymorph gone totally wrong. Geneva comments that she likes it when Empathy is spicy. Oh my.

If Mistgleam is after these paintings, he's seeking to "liberate" these for the masses for his self-aggrandizing bull-plop. Empathy does not curse. Now y'all know where Griffin gets it.

Don't you love how somehow, coincidentally, all of the things he does benefits him somehow?

Nellie rolls Insight, because something Ant said made it sound like Empathy knows Mistgleam personally. 24. Her attitude toward Mistgleam is definitely someone who knows, if not Morlen, then of the Mistgleam family and of their dealings.

Just in general, the Mistgleam family are very wealthy aristocratic high elves, they keep the bloodlines "pure". The Misgtleam fortune is supposedly because Morlen Mistgleam's ancestor found an amazing cache of relics from an ancient civilization. This ancestor is basically the British Museum. In recent decades, the Mistgleams have been seeking "opportunities" in the other realms, and this wizard boarding school for mundies is somehow part of it. It's unclear how this benefits the Mistgleams.

There are a ton of theories about the school but no one knows what the Mistgleams are up to. Morlen is the current head of the organization.

Nellie takes a long sip of her tea. So it sounds like there's a bit of a personal story there! She asks Empathy if she's had any dealings with the Mistgleams herself?

Empathy's poker face falters a bit and she takes a very dramatic sip of her tea. "Oh. The usual sort of dealings that up and coming wizards have with the Mistgleams. Nothing ridiculous or specific."

And now we know where Griffin gets the ability to lie. 8)

Nellie rolls a 16 to Persuade Empathy - she can tell her *anything.* Empathy thinks about it for a little bit.

There are some rumors that Empathy was unfortunately never able to confirm. The Mistgleams have powerful patrons.

NELLIE: Wait, money patrons or warlock patrons?
EMPATHY: Yes.

The ability for them to collect artifacts like they do is - out of this world. You have to be incredibly lucky or incredibly cheating. Empathy had a theory in her younger days when she was first studying, and she got suspicious. She might have cast a spell in the presence of Morlen Mistgleam.

Nellie wants to know which one!!!

When Empathy was younger, Morlen was attending her school to give a speech or a talk - he chose to pontificate in one way or another. As a bit of a lark, Empathy and her colleagues thought they would cast a spell, just to see what would happen. The results were a little alarming.

NELLIE: Really? What'd you get?
EMPATHY: We cast Detect Evil and Good. You know, as a joke. There was no way that Morlen Mistgleam, the upstanding pillar of the magic community (she makes a gagging sound) would trigger any sort of reading, and, well, there was!

What the spell returned was that Mistgleam has been magically desecrated. Empathy doesn't know how that's possible.

Griffin asks what does that mean???

The closest that Empathy can think is that Mistgleam is somehow magically tainted.

(OOC, this is the same wheelhouse as a curse. Not quite a curse, but something in that vein).

This is why Empathy thinks he has powerful patrons, because of how he does what he does, and his desire for magical relics is all-encompassing. Whatever has a hold on him is enough to control one of the most powerful wizards in the Feywyld.

Nellie looks at Serra - what's her take on all this talk of desecration? She rolls Religion: 24. Serra has already encountered Bargomoth and people selling their souls. In order for someone to be considered Desecrated, there is a force of evil at work that is more powerful than a covenant with a demon. For someone to be Desecrated, the evil that has permeated them is complete.

GUY: Something something Dark Side, something something Complete?

This is worse than demons, this is worse than night hags. This is not quite as bad as Cthuugel.

Nellie asks if we still have all those holy LaCrox's on hand? Because we might need those.

Nellie, Griffin, and Serra roll Nature: Serra rolls a 19. As she thinks this over and is wondering what could have this kind of power. Something comes to mind, and it causes her to break out into a cold-ass sweat. There is only one thing that has enough power to Desecrate a person - the only being that would have enough power to Desecrate a wizard as powerful as Morlen is a Litch.

Litches get stitches!!!!

Crimeny is going to add so many bones to their collection.